A New Challenge

November 27, 2012

     Well, where do I begin? It has been quite a while since I last posted on my blog. There have been so many things happen in the past two years. Some challenges have been good, others not so good. I have been doing a lot of writing again and am enjoying it tremendously. Since I have been writing, I feel like once again I have a voice and have things that I can share with other writers, students, children, parents and maybe artists of all kinds. I want to share my writings as well as anyone else who wants to post to my blog.
     I have many tales to share and I hope to have many more as we go on this journey together. The first story that I want to share is one of two people who find themselves brought together by their dogs.

 One spring day I was walking with the dogs outside our apartment. There were others walking their dogs, but my dogs did not appear too interested in the other dogs, they were really too far away. But, there was one gentleman coming towards us with a beautiful shepherd like dog.

When Maggie saw this dog she began pulling, dragging me along to get to that dog. She managed to pull me down to the ground and get over to meet the dog she was so interested in. Stoney’s' owners name was Gary, “Hi, I saw you walking your dogs, or rather were they walking you?” I laughed, “I think that Maggie is actually the one who walks Chief and me.” We spoke for a few minutes and then went on our separate ways.

After thinking for so long that I would never become involved with another relationship with another man, I found myself interested. I saw that Gary and Stoney walked toward the next building down from mine. I started looking for them every time I took the dogs on a walk or even left or entered my apartment. Gary had been so nice and all the dogs seemed to like each other.

The first or second day of July, we finally ran into Gary and Stoney. Once again, I was walking with the dogs or rather, once again, Maggie was walking us, when we saw Gary and Stoney. Maggie began pulling like she recognized them and needed to go over and greet her friends, dragging me along and me laughing all the way. I was a little embarrassed that my dog had drug me along the yard to meet them. Gary and I chatted for a while and found that we had a couple of things in common,”I love your dog,” I said. He was equally impressed with mine. We had a few things in common primarily our love of our pets. I was taking Chris to Chicago with my best friend and her son for the weekend, so I was not able to do anything with Gary, I said, “I hope we can get together soon, but we are going to Chicago for the 4^th of July.” But I knew I was definitely feeling interested in this very kind man. He said, “I would like to get together, I will see you soon.”

Our weekend in Chicago was fabulous, I really did need to get away from everything. Chris and I really enjoyed the sites and the food.

Towards the end of the month, the dogs and I ran into Gary and Stoney again. Gary and I talked about what we had been doing and the dogs socialized as dogs do. As we were beginning to go our separate ways, Gary hesitated. I waited and he asked me if I would like to do something the next evening. I said, “yes”. We had planned to go to Cabella's Outdoor Shop in Toledo.

I was so excited about our date, even if it was to an outdoor shop. Gary picked me up at 5:30 and said we were not going to Cabella's, he decided that a better first date was dinner. He said he knew a great restaurant in Toledo that he wanted to take me to.

The restaurant was seafood and it was fabulous. The atmosphere in the dining area was lovely, the décor very relaxing. We talked nonstop. I told him that I was a very honest person and wanted him to know the truth about me. I did not want to go into a friendship or relationship without him knowing about what I had been through and how I had overcome many things. It was not difficult for me to tell Gary my story, because I knew that it was right to do so. The funniest part of the evening was when Gary learned that I was only 40 years old. He was surprised and thought or hoped that I was older. He said he had not ever dated anyone so much younger than he was. He was nearly 12 years older than me and he was not sure that he was comfortable seeing someone so much younger.

We did not let our ages get in the way of the evening, we continued talking and having a very good time. The evening went by so fast and the food was excellent. I enjoyed every minute.

Gary asked me if I would like to go with him to look at a car in another town. He said he wanted my opinion and that he was thinking of purchasing this car or a motorcycle. I was so surprised that he wanted my opinion, especially so early in our friendship, but I was thrilled, I don't think anyone I ever dated or even my ex-husband had ever asked for and really wanted my opinion on anything. I was beginning to think Gary was a very special man.

The next day was a school day and I was bouncing all through the day. I was excited and really could not tell why other than my dinner with Gary had gone so well that going to look at a car with him seemed fun. We drove over to where the care that he was looking for was and began walking through the lot. There were several different colors of the Mazda Miata. Gary asked me which one I liked the best, I like the dark blue, but it had a hard top and Gary was looking for a soft top since he was so tall, he did not want the top of his head bumping up against the roof. We both agreed on a cream Miata with brown top. It was both manual and automatic, so we decided to take it for a ride. The car was smooth, it drove beautifully. Gary liked the car, but wanted to think about it. I would find later that Gary always liked to think a while before making a purchase, a very good thing to do, by not jumping into an expense that would last for years.

Gary soon decided that he wanted to purchase the Miata, saying that it would be a great “play” car. He already had a truck for everyday use. He wanted the Miata for fun and driving out in the countryside. It was wonderful fun driving around in the Miata, he let me drive the car back to the apartment.

Gary and I saw one another every day for the next few weeks, even on work days. We would go out to dinner, to a movie or just to walk around and get a cup of coffee. I found him to be very interesting. I loved that he saw and pointed out the details in the construction of the places we went. At first it was different than I had ever been around, but it was endearing. I loved spending time with Gary and the dogs all got along fabulously.

I had not really told anyone about the man I was dating, but when Thanksgiving came around and I went to visit my family in Charleston, SC, I decided to tell my family about Gary. I believed that I was in love and this relationship was very different from any that I had been involved in before now. It seemed that we shared everything and had quite a lot in common, including the way we felt about major issues and feelings. Mom was very happy for me, but wanted me to take my time and be careful so as to not get hurt once again.

I spoke with Gary every day while I was in Charleston. I missed him terribly and wanted to get back to Findlay so that we could be together again. He was so kind and gentle. I loved sitting on the sofa cuddling, even with Stoney, and all the gentle kisses he would give me, I missed that while I was in Charleston.

When we got home, I could not wait until we were able to be together again. Gary and I decided to have a cookout, with the dogs and my son Chris. This would be the first time Chris met Gary and I was a little nervous. Chris once told me that he would not accept anyone else as a father, not even a step-father since he still loved his father. I was really not expecting their meeting to go so smoothly, Chris really seemed to like Gary. They talked a lot and spent time together. Chris loved Stoney right away, he thought that Stoney was the coolest dog, ever.

Gary's job in Findlay would be over very soon and then we would not see much of each other, since he did not really know where he would be going for the next job. Gary builds hotels for a family owned company, The Drury's. Since his time was limited, he was hesitant to become too involved in our relationship, but unfortunately or fortunately we did become very close and even talked about a future together. We had many obstacles to overcome while we discussed our relationship and our future, the main being that Chris wanted to stay in Findlay and finish High School. He was only a freshman and had three years to go until he would graduate.

We planned on going to my parents house for Thanksgiving, since this was Rob's year to have Chris at Christmas. My parents were anxious to meet Gary, since I had decided that I was going to marry him. They were wonderful to him, and he was great to them. They all got along famously. It seemed like Gary had been in our family all along. He seemed at ease with my family and my family was not having any difficulty talking with or spending time with Gary. I was so relieved that even my sister was comfortable with Gary. She talked to him easily, when she was able to stay awake and coherent.

By December, Gary was in Meridian, Mississippi working on a hotel and helping out another superintendent who had not kept the project on track. He came home every two weeks and was home at Christmas. This was the year for Chris to spend Christmas with his father. I would have been home alone, but I had Gary home for Christmas. He had moved in before going to Mississippi, we thought that would be the easiest, since we did not know how long he would be on this job. While we were in Charleston for Thanksgiving, we had bought my wedding ring. At the time I insisted that we could get married at the justice of the peace and that I did not want to spend a lot of money on a big wedding. I had originally wanted to get married over this vacation, but was not able to pull it all together. My mother insisted that I would regret not having a traditional wedding and was persistent in telling me that it would be a mistake to rush the marriage and do it at City Hall in Findlay. Gary agreed with my mother and said we should actually take the time to plan a wedding rather than try to rush one in just a couple of weeks. He was sure that I would be happier with an actual traditional wedding.

Even though the plans for a December ceremony did not go through, On Christmas Eve Gary and I decided that we were already married in our minds and in the eyes of God. He wanted me to wear my wedding band and I agreed. We were officially engaged and excited to be together and “married”.

After Christmas, I immediately began planning the wedding. I found a dress that I fell in love with and my mother thought was beautiful. The only problem was that I had to order it online and would not actually be able to try it on with my mother. The dress would come and I would try it on and decide if it fit properly.

When the dress arrived, Chris had to help me get into the dress, it was lace with buttons all the way down the back. I took pictures and sent them to my mother. The pictures did not do the dress justice, but mom would be able to see the dress at the end of January when Gary and I went to Charleston to begin the planning for the wedding. I had booked rooms at the “Pink Palace”, the Palmer House, downtown Charleston on East Bay Street. The plan was to have the wedding there in the gardens and then spend two spectacular nights at the bed and breakfast for our honeymoon.

When Gary and I got to Charleston, we stayed at my parent's house. They were very happy to have us and we were happy to see them again. The next day, we planned to go to the bed and breakfast, first to walk around and take a small tour. When we got there, I fell in love immediately with the house. As we walked around and entered the front room of the inn, I immediately fell in love with the room. It had large windows and was very open and inviting, it took less than a minute for me to decide that I wanted to have the ceremony in this room, we all agreed that it would be more beautiful that outside and would have the exact romantic feel that I was looking for in this wedding ceremony. There were winding stairwells, that I would be able to descend on the way to the room where my future husband would be waiting for me.

Once we were satisfied with our visit to the Palmer House, we had an appointment with the florist. Our Florist was also downtown, near MUSC. When we walked in we were thrilled by what we saw in the showroom, This florist appeared to be quite talented. She began by showing us a few of her photo albums. I was so excited with the fresh flowers and various bouquets that she had created for other brides. She asked me what my favorite flowers were and I told her peonies and roses. I found a bouquet that was similar to what I was thinking and decided that was what I wanted. The entire bouquet was fresh flowers and absolutely beautiful. I also ordered bouquets smaller, but similar to mine for my bridesmaids, Kelli, Audra and Lauren. We also ordered boutonnieres for Gary, Dad, Michael, Thomas and Chris. I wanted to keep the ceremony simple, yet elegant.

While we were at the florist, we discussed the type of cake that I wanted. I wanted a simple chocolate/vanilla cake with butter-cream icing topped with fresh flowers. Mom said she thought that we should have a traditional cake topper. The florist was very nice and suggested that we take a look at some of the cakes she had done with fresh flowers. She also told mom that it was a current trend for brides to order simple cakes and place fresh flowers for the decoration. Finally, after looking at several cakes, mom said that the flowers on the cake did look very pretty and that maybe that was the best way to go.

That evening while we were eating dinner, we all had something to say about how well the day had gone. Gary and I would be leaving in the morning to get back to Findlay for work on Monday. My father was even getting excited about the events during planning the wedding. Gary and I decided that we would need to plan on coming back to Charleston in February to ensure that the plans were going as we wanted. During the next visit mom and I would plan on bridesmaid gifts, any centerpieces we would need for tables and any other things that we could plan during that visit.

During the visit to Charleston in February, we also planned a visit and meeting with the minister who would be officiating the ceremony. When we met him, our chat went very well, he appeared to be exactly the person Gary and I would want to officiate our ceremony. The minister had given us several ideas of ceremonies that he had officiated and asked us to look them over and determine what we would like to include in our own personalized ceremony.

Spring vacation finally came! It was the weekend that Gary and I were going to be married, I was so excited and a little bit nervous that not everything would go as planned. We got to Charleston and to my parents in time for dinner. It was Thursday evening and everyone was excited about the coming events. My best friend, Kelli had also arrived in Charleston, she was staying at a hotel at Patriot's Point. She was looking forward, not only to the wedding, but to laying by the pool and getting a wonderful Charleston tan.

Saturday was here! We all had appointments for getting our hair done at 10:00 in the morning. All the girls had gotten their nails done during the week before we all got together the other night. We had planned on all going together for hair and nails, but since Kelli and I lived out of state, we were not able to schedule everything together. At least we were all able to get our hair done at the same time, so that we would be able to see how we all looked. It was very exciting! Lauren had her hair swept up and Audra decided at the last minute to have hers done in an up-sweep as well. The both looked absolutely beautiful and it was amazing how much Lauren looked like her mother. Kelli and Mom had their hair done fancy, but fairly normal, they looked lovely. Anne did my hair and made it stay in place and it did not look fancy and unrecognizable. When we were finished we had to hurry back to the house to get our things together so that mom and I could get downtown. We both wanted to get our makeup done before we left, but that was not completely possible, the hairdresser had taken longer than we had planned.

Mom and I got to the Palmer House in time to get some of the decorations and flowers together and then go upstairs to my room to begin getting ready and dressed.

We had hired a photographer, who ended up being absolutely the most creative photographer I had ever met. She took photos exactly the way we asked, they were all very natural looking, with nothing being very posed and fake. She was able to take the photographs in such a way so as not to intrude on the events of the day. When I did get to see them a few weeks later, I was even more impressed, she had done a beautiful job with our wedding, capturing every wonderful moment.

When my sister came in, things were all in a whirl, she immediately found the wine and began drinking. She was very happy and seemed genuinely happy for me. It was the first time in a long time that I saw my sister in such a relaxed and good mood, it was great to have her really there aware and cognizant at my wedding. Lauren was in a great mood as well, she was excited to be in the wedding and looked superb in her dress. She, Audra and my mother had gone to the wedding shop in North Charleston to choose their dresses according to the colors I had chosen for my wedding. Kelli and I had gone up to Toledo to choose her dress. Unfortunately, Kelli's dress was a completely different color than we were looking for originally, but it was the most beautiful dress for her and I decided that was the most important thing. She did not believe that she was going to look sensational in it, but she did and everyone thought so.

Gary and I had decided to get the boys involved in the ceremony as well. We chose a sand ceremony to represent the blending of our families. Though we only had Chris on the invitation, it was important to both of us to include all three boys. The sand ceremony was beautiful and I was able to keep the glass container with the sand that we had blended as a family in a stand to remember everything that had gone on the day of our wedding.

The ceremony was beautiful and very emotional, both Gary and I had tears in our eyes at various times in the ceremony. We were able to say everything that we meant to each other in front of our friends and families. I could not have asked for a more perfect day. After the ceremony, I felt so happy, I just wanted to laugh and dance. I felt so thrilled that the wedding had been the dream wedding I had always wanted. Once everyone had a chance to talk and socialize, we went into the dining room to cut the cake and have champagne. We were all talking and my father made a toast. I decided that that was the time I wanted to toast my parents and family for sticking by me at some of my most difficult times and for sharing this wonderful day with Gary and me. I got a little tipsy and of course, my graceful self fell back on the floor, Gary helped me up and we all laughed.

We planned on having everyone to dinner at A.W. Shuck's, a restaurant downtown know for it's seafood. It was a great place to gather, especially with a larger group. Once everyone arrived, we ordered drinks and decided to talk about what appetizers everyone wanted. Gary and I had no idea how much the whole thing would cost, but we wanted everyone to have a wonderful time. The whole evening was fabulous, everyone enjoyed everything they ate and the conversations were terrific. I was able to go around and talk with everyone and even Ryan and his friend were able to join us for dinner. We all drank too much, but Gary and I were walking, we did not have to drive anywhere.

After dinner, everyone went their separate ways so that Gary and I could get on with our honeymoon. We went across the street and decided to go for a carriage tour around Charleston. After the tour we began walking back towards the bed and breakfast for the evening. I was so happy and delightfully exhausted. The room that we had at the Palmer House was elegant and gorgeous, we had a four post bed that was extremely comfortable. The evening was gloriously romantic.

The next day we spent a relaxing morning and afternoon at the Palmer House. I had to work for a while on my thesis, the unfortunate part of getting married during the semester, or while working and going to school. It did not matter that I had to work on my thesis the day was extraordinary any way. We were able to relax and spend time together, which was the most important thing for us.

On Easter Sunday, we planned on having dinner with my parents. We went over in the middle of the afternoon, around 2:00, and were able to spend time with them and talk about the weekend and how things went. We left early to get back to the inn so that we could have some time to ourselves. We would have to leave early to get back to my parents to pick up the boys so that we could go back to Findlay by the evening to get ready for work and school the next day.

Although it was as long a trip as always, it seemed to go by quickly since I was with Gary and knew that we were husband and wife. Chris seemed extremely happy for us all to be together, too. We got home early enough to get ready for the next day of work and school. Thankfully, we would not be going to bed too late and all be exhausted for the next day.

It was going to be very important, as always to be completely honest with Gary and important that we make decisions together so as not to leave each other out of our thoughts, ideas and decisions. 

Gary has been a wonderful husband and always encourages me to pursue my ideas and gifts. I have wanted to be a writer for quite some time. He has encouraged and even urged me to continue writing. He loves me for who I am as I honor and love him for who he is.